You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
