I wannas sexs uuuuu
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
