oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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