next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
