So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
