you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
