Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
