My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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