Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
