so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
nutella sex= disaster
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
