It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
