You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
