So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
