hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize
