Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
