i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
