Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
