last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
this boner is exhausting
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
