...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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