Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
