Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
