Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
