I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
