final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
