Do you still have your period?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
