Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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