just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
