Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
