So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
