so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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