Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
