I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
