guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
