I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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