The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
