just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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