you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
