I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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