it was like eating out sand paper
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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