I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
