Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
