doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
