Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
