you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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