I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
