You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
