There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
