what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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