I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
