I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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