you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
